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Bulimia by *riencuran:iconriencuran:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Philosophical > Fixed


There are words
        twisting
    writhing
        coiling
beneath my fingertips
and on the horizon my ships
are setting sail.

My trivial thoughts
        throb
    ache
        pulse
under my translucent shell,
bidding my sanity a final farewell
as I let them break free.

I longed to be
        Ophelia
    Ansel Adams
        TS Eliot
sewn together into one being
and nevermore be fleeing
ghosts and memories

but my stream of
             consciousness
     has
               bro   
ken
paindeathgriefjoyfuturelifeidentity
       j  u  mb le   d
the
        structure of
   my sanity
     
                               nonexistent
and            nonconformist
            with wind
seething
through
               my hollow skull

i purge
        my philosophies
    with
trembling fingers.
©2008-2009 *riencuran
Details
Submitted: June 16, 2008
File Size: 2.1 KB
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Comments: 22
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Author's Comments

Written for =Francine1991's contest on Introspection. I think this fits...but then, I've had a migraine for three days, and I still have it now; this is the mess that came while I pondered what to write.

Meh. Thoughts? I'm grumpy, and feedback would make me happy.

Not wonderfully fabulous...but maybe if I ever have time to revise it this summer when I have a moment. Whatev.
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Comments


=Out-Of-Spite:iconOut-Of-Spite: Jun 16, 2008, 7:22:02 AM
I like the structure, it went well with the "scrambled" feeling of your words.

--
~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~
:blackrose:Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from:blackrose:
Surrender to the Truth: [link]
Believe the Lie: [link]
*riencuran:iconriencuran: Jun 16, 2008, 7:44:07 AM
Thank you! =D

--
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
-Kurt Vonnegut
~Nordica93:iconNordica93: Jun 16, 2008, 8:13:46 AM
Very good indeed. I like how it feels all confused and surreal.
*MataHari7:iconMataHari7: Jun 16, 2008, 8:18:35 AM
this is very good! the structure is really great!

--
"Crystallized, as I lay here and rest
Eyes of glass stare directly at death
From deep sleep I have broken away
No one knows, no one hears what I say"
=Out-Of-Spite:iconOut-Of-Spite: Jun 16, 2008, 8:19:53 AM
you're welcome dear!

--
~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~
:blackrose:Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from:blackrose:
Surrender to the Truth: [link]
Believe the Lie: [link]
*rustedscrapmetal:iconrustedscrapmetal: Jun 16, 2008, 8:36:56 AM
I lovethe structure, on how words are spaced and jumbled together, and how it goes with the poem. Very nonconformist indeed.
~Katie-Cuddles:iconKatie-Cuddles: Jun 16, 2008, 9:01:28 AM
really like the structure :)

--
:hug:
=falathiel:iconfalathiel: Jun 16, 2008, 9:44:05 AM
The structure is perfect.
The poem itself, even more perfect.
You're perfect anyway, no need to mention it. :D

This is so great, honey! :hug:

And, hope you feel better!

--
mesele esir düşmekte değil;
teslim olmamakta bütün mesele...
--
Raw intensity lies in...
silence.
~LoveSong-203:iconLoveSong-203: Jun 16, 2008, 11:11:08 AM
That was really great! I love, you are really really good!

--
I can make avatars, I made mine as an example.
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